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Sorry once again for a lack of posts etc.

Today I want to do something I am told you should never do when blogging, which is stray from my chosen theme. I want to talk about being a Mum and a woman.

I watched a short film this morning about how we see ourselves versus how others see us. It was really moving and kind of sad. They had a police sketch artist drawing women based on how they described themselves, then had the artist draw them based on someone elses description, without the artist having seen the subject themselves at all. In each case, the drawings were quite different and as you would probably guess, much more attractive in the eyes of the viewer than the self description. It made me wonder, do men do this too? I remember as a teenager, being convinced that I was so fat and ugly and not at all up to my peers. I missed years of childhood doubting myself and failing to see the beauty in me. Now as a nearly 35year old mum of two, I look back at photos of those years and feel sad for all the joy that I missed, purely because I couldn't really see me. 

What do you think it is, that makes us see ourselves so differently to how others see us? I think as a Mum it becomes even worse. I spend so much of my time second guessing my decisions; should I let them eat that? Should I make them finish those vegies under threat of no dessert? If I sit with a book for half an hour while my kids play happily alone outside, am I being a neglectful parent? I think I am a below average mother, I always feel that I fail in little ways, every day. Why is it then, that my husband thinks I am this really amazing wife and mother? (He is clearly blinkered to the crazy mess that we live in!) Why does my own Mum tell me all the time what a great job I am doing and regularly people tell me what wonderful children I have. Surely all this means I am doing a good job, so why don't I see it that way?

 

What is it about us as women that makes us question ourselves all the time, judge ourselves all the time and most of all, why do we do it to each other? Why is it that we as women are always competing with each other, instead of looking to complement each others strengths and weaknesses?

 

I am straying from my original point. Today I have promised myself that each morning I will look in the mirror (maybe not very first thing in the morning!) and tell myself one thing that I like about me, that I think is really good, about me. Every day I will also tell my daughter 3 things (at least), that I love about her and that are great about her. While I'm at it, I will tell my husband and son some things that are great about them too, because let's face it, sometimes the world gets us all down and the more we support ourselves and each other, the easier it will be to keep smiling.

 

 For those interested in watching the film themselves, here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

Diva xx

Comments

  1. Unknown19 April 2013 at 14:54

    Hey Diva =)

    Didn't know you had a blog. I saw the video too, and felt sad. I've got a 4 year old son and a nearly 2 year old daughter, and had no idea how much of a rabid feminist having a daughter would make me. I read the other day that women's self esteem peaks at age 9, and that by 10, some disgracefully significant percentage of girls think that they should be losing weight. I'm really frightened of letting my Monster out in the world. Right now, mostly on behalf of the world, as she is truly a Monster, but as she gets older, and the world gets meaner, it's gonna be hard.

    I'm gonna be a pretty mean and enraged mum when that happens, but I am also smart enough to know that this will make almost no difference at all.

    So in the meantime, I ban princesses, and awful dolls with bad body images, and insist on proper shoes that let her kick things and climb and run and walk through puddles and cover them in mud instead of the stupid flimsy things they think is okay to sell to little girls. And other stuff too, and hope it's enough =(.

    Love X

    ReplyDelete

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